Sunday, 16 May 2010

10 Good Reasons to Marry ONE Muslim

Taken from: www.elanthemag.com
Please visit the site as they have alot more funny, light-hearted and fresh articles based around Islam and day to day life of the Ummah


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Dear readers, it looks like you did well to read our post on '10 Good Reasons to Marry a Muslim!' Online Dating and polygamy have combined to create the master of all “Islamic” matrimonial sites: 2or3or4.com

The logline says it all: “Marry women of your choices. 2 or 3 or 4!”

What about 1? Is that not even an option anymore?

As if to pre-empt the argument, the website features several articles and opinions on the validity of polygamy in Islam. While I have heard ranging opinions on the relative preferability of the institution, almost all agree that Islam allows polygamy for men with certain restrictions.

So, if I may just impart a few notes on 10 Good Reasons to Marry ONE Muslim:

1) Family Ties (or nooses) Really? One set of in-laws isn’t enough?

2) Let me introduce you to… It gives people fewer opportunities to impersonate Borat saying, “Mah waahhhf!” Imagine that four times in a row!

3) Do you know what day it is today? Do you really think you can remember FOUR anniversaries? That’s just asking for trouble! ...Unless you do it all at once, I suppose. But still. Miss that day, and you will be struggling to find a blank spot on your face around the 20 finger marks…

4) Mid-Wife Crisis: There are other ways to show your virility. Get a sportscar. Which, by the way, will only fit your favorite wife, and that disqualifies the whole “separate but equal” rule.

5) The Fame Game: There are far more sitcoms about monogamous relationships than about polygamous relationships. Although a Muslim version of “Big Love” would definitely bring a fresh perspective to the HBO crowd… “Bigger Love” could combine some elements of “The Wire” and “The Sopranos” to truly make it edgy. Heck, why not throw in some “True Blood.” I always thought Muslims were unfairly underrepresented in the vampire fiction category…

6) Alimony: Greek for: “All the Money.” As in say goodbye to “All the Money” you’ve ever earned. Either way, you’re a goner. Stay together and that’s a whole set of college educations you have to save for.

7) In my country… Ok, I’m going to come out and say it. But a huge reason to forgo extra significant others is the stigma. People associate polygamy with sexism and values of centuries past. While that does seem unfair given the average NBA player’s entourage (or Hugh Heffner’s Bunny Farm), it’s like the French say, marriage is once with one person and for life. That’s what mistresses are for!

8) Legalese: Polygamy has been illegal in the US since the late 19th century. Meanwhile, activists in this country are still finding it difficult to get married to just one other person. Try adding more wives to the bill and you will get screamed down by conservative hillbillies quicker than you can say, “Proposition 8 revoked!” And all you can retort with is “nice haircut!” or “Anne Coulter is getting less attractive by the day!” (If you have more effective insults, please email them along...these didn’t work so well at the rodeo.)

9) Double Standard: Do you really want to play this game? Men wear pants. Women wear pants. Men want voting rights. Women want voting rights. Men want additional spouses...well, let’s just hope you have some brothers. If you open this door, don’t think women won’t eventually come up with ways to walk through it. They already have in some parts of the world!

10) And finally, the biggest reason to marry ONE Muslim: Hey! Leave some for the rest of us!


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...Don't you just love 'top 10' lists? ^_^

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~~La ilaha il Allah~~

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