Deflated. Wanted so much more out of Ramadan. Only myself to blame. The only thing good out of it was that my husband returned home after an agonising eternity. Eid became just like any other day (Eid Mubarak btw!). Ill. Ate too much rubbish. Too tired to cook. Hungry to achieve more. These times you really find out who your friends are. It's a shame most are abroad or moving back out there. Summer is over. Evaluation in need. Exhausted of always being the 'one' rather than others asking how I am for a change or picking up the phone to call me. Some people are not worth my time any more. Try as I may but it never happens. That's just me. Plans are never followed through. Upset with how the ummah is falling, not by number but in iman. Making the haram halal and the halal haram. Fighting a losing battle almost. Empty. Most likely the worst year of my life except one thing. Almost 22 and should have done so much more, on top of everything else. Ungrateful or eager to climb higher?
I am my own worst critic.