In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
This is a a true story. 30/10/2012
Hearing a bang, I went downstair's with my finger hitting my mobile screen to call my husband.
I walked toward's the kitchen. The top security latch flew off and hit the cupboard.
In front of me barging through my back door came a man. It wasn't my husband or my brother in law!
A strange man, around my age and height.
I took one step back, I looked at him in shock and confusion (
I made a mental note of what he looked like/was wearing in a split second
) and started to shout "GET OUT"
"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
He tried to mumble, justifying his action's, I think
I stepped forward still screaming repeating my words, holding my stance with my hand's up. Ready for what was about to come.
More mumbling, not letting him finish, having my hands raised I shouted some more "YOUVE BROKE IN MY HOUSE, GET OUT!! GET OUT OF MY HIOUSE!! MY HUSBAND WILL BE HOME ANY MINUTE!! GET OUT!!!"
He took a step, did I see fear?! Then he turned, and opened the door that had almost shut back on itself behind him.
He ran. Unable to register what just happened, I pushed the door shut and locked it. Taking quick heavy breath's, I looked at my phone thinking my husband may have heard all that after answering my call but all I could hear was the stupid automated voice of the voicemail woman. I called my husband again.
I ran to the front door to look out the peep hole to see if he had ran in the street. he was there and he called to somebody, which i didnt see, then he walked across the road then down an alleyway. Still ringing my husband but it kept going to voicemail and my battery was dropping. I called my brother in law who picked up but he was studying late at uni which was an hour away. I called my husband for what felt like the 100th time and finally got through, he said he was on his way, dropping everything at work.
Later, after i called the police, my husband was home then my brother in law, the police told us he was a boyfriend of a woman who lives next door but one. They were drunk, on a tuesday night, she forgot her key so they walked around the back of the terraced houses, counted up, and told him to break the door down. They counted wrong. They got my house. I didn't even see where she was, but it must have been her he was talking too before he ran away. They haven't found him yet. I'm not very hopeful about what they will do to him, charge him with breaking and entering perhaps? This is England, maybe he will get a warning - that sounds more like it.
Alhamdulilah it wasn't something more sinister.
Allah akbar, tonight could have gone so many way's.
Subhanallah, these past 2 day's I have actually been learning more self defense; Krav Maga to be exact.
Lucky for him he ran off.
He chose a good night because neither my husband or brother in law were in.
You're probably thinking "why is that a good thing!?". They are Palestinian, you do not disrespect them, intrude their homes, and you especially don't mess with their women! They are real men. My husband would fight for me life and death and has/would do anything for me. I know my brother in law doesn't have the obligation to protect me but he would for his brother and I know he would fight to protect me better than my blood brother would, inshallah.
SubhanAllah it was tonight not any other time. My husband said that Allah saved him and all of us because only Allah SWT knows how tonight could have gone down if thing's were different.
Everything happen's for a reason: Believe it.
Only Allah can protect you, look at how I couldn't get through to my husband the first time, subhanallah THAT is for a reason! No matter who you have in this life, who you think will always be there to protect you, they simply can't. Only Allah SWT can do/be that.
I could let my ego run havoc here and say it's because I did this and that. It is all down to Allah SWT. I believe in Allah. I fear Allah alone. I do not fear dying. I thought about it and my shouting was in anger - how could this person break into my house? What on Earth did he think he was doing? Rude!
We can only prepare ourselves for such event's. Remember to expect the best but prepare for the worst!
Believe me, being prepared helped me alot.
If I wasn't then I don't know how I would have approached the situation. Even though this attack was not intentional, it could have got nasty, he could have tried to shut me up. I was blessed to learn martial art's as an early teen and then subhanallah i came across this combat which focuses on weak, vital area's - great for women against the opposite sex - just a couple day's ago. It's called Krav Maga. You maybe interested in it's origin too!
An hour before this happened I had actually finished the movie "Enough". It's about a woman who is victim to domestic violence. It has a scene with the woman and a trainer who teaches her to protect herself with self defense.
You should watch it, all women should. This movie taught me that It takes twice as much energy to swing and miss as it does to swing and hit. This is important and good if you are a quick mover, so work on your agility.
These were all the pieces to the puzzle.
My stance, posture, voice, I saw him even though the kitchen was in darkness there was some light coming from the living room. All these thing's can help you and give you that confidence which can make a huge difference. Rather than looking like a vulnerable victim. Body language is a big part of it.
Alhamdulilah nothing worse happened - alhamdulilah. But having a stranger crash into your house like that really gives you an adrenaline rush.
My husband did ask why the door was unlocked, some of you maybe asking the same. It was just after 6pm. I had just let my cat out. I closed the door after him and put the top safety catch on and forgot to lock the door at the handle. Inshallah I will be more cautious, but I or my husband are certainly not blaming myself. It took alot of power to break that catch, they are intentionally made to stop break in's!!
It was my house and he had no right entering uninvited. There was once a time where you could leave your door's unlocked!
Did you know in England if all this had gone on, it had escalated and I had hurt him, he could actually sue me for his injuries, with him being on my property, even though he was BREAKING IN. This is in England, UK, year 2012!!
Alhamdulilah, Allah protected me.
If it happen's again, the outcome may not be the same. Did you ever wonder what YOU would do in a situation like this or worse?? I actually wanted to write a blog post on self defense for women after learning some Krav Maga moves... before this incident occured!
Are you ready for an attack?
Do you have a defensive mindset?
Have you ever wondered how you get out of being strangled or attacked from behind?
As a woman I feel it is a duty to learn these thing's, it's in your best interest. I'm not writing this to make us all paranoid but so we are prepared. To help teach other women and make them aware is a great thing because in reality it may save somebody's life.
Just because you're nice doesn't mean that other people are. Whether you're attacked for your purse, phone, or for your body, you cannot let them make you become a victim. You need to learn this stuff, so you are able to put up a fight and have more chance of an escape.
You need to teach your daughter's too. Even if it's just learning how to S.I.N.G. If you've seen the Sandra Bullock movie "Miss Congeniality" you will know what I mean, I hope you remember what it stands for! If not, watch it. It's a great chick-flick.
You may want to ask yourself how fit you are. Could you out-run an attacker?
It is fard, obligatory, to take care of your body, to keep it fit and healthy. Work the cardio and don't be frightened of the weight machine's in the gym. You're not going to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, don't worry. What you will do is make enough muscle for some strength and tone those arm's and leg's at the same time. Get some gloves on and hit the punching bag's too!
Take a self defense class if you need to. Search for demo's online, there are some great video's on youtube too.
Think about what you'd do if you were attacked. Work with your husband to recreate some moves. I have done this before, you will know these moves are coming but it will help you to get a feel of how heavy and strong a guy can be. Remember it's always easier said than done. You may think "I'll do A,B,C." but in that moment, unless it's fresh in your mind, you will panic in the heat of the moment and you will forget everything you thought you would do.
Practice and preparation never hurt anyone!
15 Tip's in self defense for women!
- if you have no weapon on your body (citizen's of countries without concealed carry)
- Walk in public with your shoulder's back and look as though you know where you are going, even if you do not. It's all about the confidence!
- Head up - jaw parallel to ground
- Keep your eye's open - be aware of your surrounding's and the people within them
- If somebody get's in your personal space, take a step back and if you need to, raise your hands to keep the distance
- Where possible, travel with a companion. If it's dark, walk in a well lit area, never take that short cut across the pitch black park, even if it will cut half an hour out your journey. Use common sense.
- Perfect your stance - so you are less likely to become unbalanced, stand with feet in line with your shoulders and put one foot slightly in front of the other (think of Muhammad Ali)
- If the attacker just wants your purse or phone or anything else material and there's no way to escape - throw them down at the side of him and run!
- Remember to S.I.N.G. ((Solar plexus, In-step, Nose, Groin)).
- In addition, go for the eyes, throat, knee's - any weak part of the body.
- Shock factor - hit quick, accurate and hard! This is where practice session's help you!
- Use your voice - loud, strong vocal's - a lion's roar not a mouse's squeak! It will draw attention
- Prepare - as mentioned above, learn some moves, take a class, hit some heavy pad's, practice on a male relative-i'm sure they'd be more than happy to help you, just don't get carried away and hurt them!
- Strike with knee's and elbow's, these give a higher impact and hurt you less
- Avoid high kick's and swing's as these make you become unbalanced and the attacker could grab your ankle and dominate you
- Mind over matter - the winning, defensive mindset. You need to believe in you. Believe that you can do this, you are strong. Attacker's rarely go for someone who they know can handle themselves, it gives them a harder job. If they make a mistake and mess with the wrong woman they're more likely to run away too. Once you prepare for anything in life it give's you confidence, this is no different
I have a huge headache and I'm still recovering from the flu and a sore throat, i don't think tonight's shouting helped it any.
P.S: When the police arrived and walked through the house to check out the 'scene of the crime' I couldn't help but think "i'm glad the house is clean and tidy". Seriously, brain?!! THIS is what you think of?? Only a house proud woman could scare off an intruder and think about the state of the house in one evening!!!
― Ibn Taymiyyah